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“To have an abortion was a moral, life-affirming decision in which we had an ultimate responsibility to the four children we already had.”
Robbie Ausley, mother, grandmother, and board member of Austin’s First United Methodist Church, shares her abortion story from 1973. Robbie and her husband already had four young children when they discovered that his vasectomy had failed and she was pregnant again. With the support of two ministers—one who provided counsel and another who provided shelter—Robbie had an abortion.
In Robbie’s words:
It was the summer of 1973. In January of that same year, Austin lawyer Sarah Weddington won the Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision, giving women the right to choose whether or not to terminate a pregnancy. I paid little or no attention to the significance of that Supreme Court decision because it seemed irrelevant to me – there was no way that it would affect me or my life because two years earlier when our family doubled its size with the birth of twins, my husband elected to have a vasectomy.
Coming from a large family myself, I felt blessed to have four healthy children and the financial resources so that I could be a “stay-at-home” mom. However, because my husband Tom worked long hours in building his law practice, I was the primary caretaker and emotional parent of the four young children. The overwhelming demands of our young family, three of whom were born within 17 months, began to take its toll, leaving me drained physically and emotionally. Sometimes I felt like a plucked hen, desperately wishing there was more of me to go around. Too often though, I found myself screaming, not only at my husband Tom, but also at my four children, followed with feelings of guilt and depression. The frequency of those unhealthy outbursts of emotion began to frighten me.
Then the unexpected happened. Tom’s vasectomy of less than 2 years failed, and I was pregnant again! After receiving the call from my doctor’s office, I immediately called Tom and insisted that I was incapable of nurturing and sustaining another baby. “I’m going to have an abortion!” I cried. After a moment of silence and obvious shock, he began trying to alleviate my anxiety by suggesting we add an extra room onto the new house we were building and hire a live-in nanny. “But you don’t understand,” I remember crying and saying, “I’m still their mother, and there is only one of me.” We spent the next week seeking counsel with various professionals, including a Methodist pastor with whom we prayed for discernment. Ultimately, after consulting with our Methodist pastor, we made what we believed to be a life-affirming, moral decision within the context of our faith: I had an abortion.
That was over 50 years ago. Those four little children are now college graduates, married, parents, and seemingly well-adjusted adults who are making a contribution to society. Of course, Tom and I think their greatest contributions are the ten incredible grandchildren who are our greatest blessings.
Yes, I still believe we made the right decision in 1973. I believe any definition of a “human life” or “person” that neglects the moral reality required to nurture and sustain life after birth is very dangerous. The quality of all our lives depends on the texture of concern and our very human, very moral readiness to provide for the children we choose to bring into the world. Given the circumstances and possible consequences involved in that unplanned pregnancy over 50 years ago, I continue to believe that choosing to have an abortion was a moral, life-affirming decision in which we had an ultimate responsibility to the four children we already had.
Two strongly-held convictions have stayed with me since that experience. First, not all women would have made the decision I did, and that is the message and importance of choice. However, I strongly contend that I was in the best position and therefore the best person to ultimately make that decision to have an abortion: not my government – not some judge – and not some religious leader, but me. Even my husband, the person who knew me the best and loved me the most, had difficulty understanding the depth of my anxiety, as well as the fragile state of my emotional health. I continue to have the strongly held conviction that the woman, with the advice of her doctor and hopefully the support of family and friends, is the best person to make that decision.
The second impression I still have etched in my heart and soul is the level of desperation and panic I felt on that day when the doctor’s office called. I remember locking myself in our bedroom with my young children crying and banging on the door as I hysterically pleaded on the phone, trying to persuade Tom to take me somewhere to get an abortion. I am embarrassed to admit that I did not even know it was legal. I also did not care where we went because I was desperate to do something, knowing I had these four precious, innocent children depending on me. Therefore, my second strongly held conviction is that women, regardless of their economic status, will find a way to get an abortion, even if it means endangering their lives.
My story is not unique. It is a story similar to that of many women who walk silently among us. Since sharing my story for the first time in 1998, I have heard the stories of many women who have had abortions, learning that behind every choice is a story. Most women know when they do not have the resources, whether it is emotional or physical, to be the mother they want to be. Those resources may be lacking because of rape, incest, drugs, youth, poverty, an abusive relationship, or like me – small children in the home who continue to need love and nurturing. Hopefully, by putting a face….my face on this issue, people will be less likely to judge and demonize women who have made the decision to terminate a pregnancy and might more fully understand that simplistic solutions to complex problems too often trivialize the human dilemmas in our journeys.
Many years after my experience in 1973, I began to think about how blessed I was to be economically advantaged, never having to worry about access to reproductive health care or choice. But then I thought, “What about all those women who are uninsured or poor and do not have the same access I had. That is why in the 1990’s when a friend approached me about the preventive health care services and programs that Planned Parenthood provided to help women with their reproductive needs, regardless of their economic status, I realized it was a cause in which I wanted to invest time and money. I got involved with Planned Parenthood over 30 years ago which included my husband, Tom, and me chairing a campaign to build an abortion care facility in Austin that bears our name. Our hope is that we can continue to help other women, first and foremost, avoid unplanned pregnancies while also making sure they have a safe place to go if faced with such a daunting decision as abortion.
Once our children were grown, Tom and I also began sharing our story with family members, as well as our community, because we felt our silence as people of faith allowed others to portray pro-choice advocates like us as being anti-family and anti-religious with no moral or spiritual guidance. It still saddens me when anti-choice advocates refer to themselves as being “pro-life” with the implication that anyone like me who believes in a woman’s right to choose is not being “pro-life.” I still believe Tom and I were being “pro-life” in 1973 when we made the decision to terminate a pregnancy so I would be physically and emotionally healthy enough to mother, love, and nurture the four young children we already had. I also believe attacking a woman’s right to choose by overturning Roe v. Wade or limiting access to abortion care is dangerous to the wellbeing of all women and their families. Now that the Supreme Court overturned the right for women to terminate a pregnancy in 2022, I worry about the women who no longer have the right to decide what is best for them and their family, fearing they will resort to endangering their lives.
Planned Parenthood, an organization that I have found does more than any other health care provider to keep women from facing unplanned pregnancies while also providing a safe, non-judgmental place for abortion care, will have my support until my last breath. In addition, my faith tradition, the United Methodist Church, will always hold a special place in my heart for two reasons….first – because it was a Methodist pastor, Rev. Bob Breihan, who was our spiritual counselor, hearing our cry and holding our hands as we journeyed through that difficult decision in 1973, and secondly – because the church, FUMC Austin, where we have been members for 58 years voted in 2023 to become a Reproductive Freedom Congregation so that women who have had an abortion or are facing that decision will have a faith community where they will not be judged and shamed but, instead, will be nurtured and loved.
